Start a Nuclear War
by pennysparkle
Summary: 713: Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.


First drabble in a week of daily drabbles (or not, in my case) I'm doing with Ivy (cuethe_pulse on LJ). Today, we chose something from textsfromlastnight. Here is mine!

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**Start a Nuclear War**

The bar had not been chosen for any other reason than for the fact that the drinks were always cheapest there, according to a couple of the locals that hung around the docks. That was all well and good, really, because cheaper drinks meant less debt to Nami, and anyway, _most _of them weren't picky about the alcohol they imbibed. The precious few dainty ones on the crew would just have to suck it up.

Except they'd apparently chosen the wrong night to come, at least if they wanted to have any peace and quiet. _Drag night_, the sign outside proclaimed, and sure enough, when they walked in, the place was filled to the brim with people taking full advantage of this designation. It was loud, gaudily decorated, and Zoro immediately wanted to walk back out.

He shifted in place just inside the door - there was enough time to grab Sanji and go elsewhere for a different kind of fun, but he'd already hesitated for too long. In the span of a few seconds, Sanji had followed Nami and Robin into the fray, though he looked almost as displeased as Zoro about what they'd gotten themselves into.

The rest of the crew trailed along just behind them, but Zoro shuffled to the side, weighing his options. He supposed that he could have a couple drinks, and soon enough, Sanji would be drunk and begging to leave for a quick romp before the others headed back to the ship. He could stick around until then.

In the meantime, he got himself a beer and set off in search of a quiet corner, his oasis for the night. It was all the way in the front, near to the door which let in a cold blast of air every time it opened, but it was uninhabited and a little less noisy than the rest of the place.

At least that was true for a while, until a group of about five men came over, complaining loudly. They took the other table in the nook, seeming not to notice Zoro at first.

He was only mildly thankful for that. The small mercy was that they weren't talking to him, but perhaps if they knew someone else was around, they would shut their mouths, or at least be quieter.

The exact opposite happened, just to spite him. After having to listen to yet another tirade about "ugly fake broads" invading their usual watering hole, Zoro became fed up, and he stood, glass of beer in one hand as the other came to rest protectively upon his swords. He'd only gotten a couple feet away when one of them called out to him.

"Oi!"

Zoro turned his head, eyes dangerous as they landed upon a short but muscular man, who smiled meekly at him, as if scared into silence.

One of his companions piped up in his stead. "Oi, you here with these queens?"

Eyebrow raised, Zoro said nothing.

"We were thinking," the man continued, apparently unaffected. "Perhaps you'd like to get out of here with us. Go somewhere else for a drink."

"No," said Zoro.

"Aw, come on. Is this really your kind of place? With these freaks?"

Zoro looked around the room, eyes drifting over all the people dancing together, having fun. Next, they lit upon the table where Luffy was enthusiastically chattering to a drag king as Nami dealt out cards to Robin, Franky, Brook, and Sanji - whose eyes weren't on the game taking place around him, but instead locked straight onto Zoro's.

As if physically recoiling from that gaze, Zoro turned back to the group of men. "I don't see any freaks here, unless we're counting you."

The man's face turned dark, and he frowned. "C'mon, wouldn't you rather spend time with us? We'll buy the drinks, you don't have to pay for anything."

"No," he repeated.

"Well why not?"

"Because he said no," said Sanji, appearing smoothly beside Zoro.

"And who the hell are you?"

Sanji narrowed his eyes as he stepped closer to Zoro's side. "It's not your shitty business."

"Oh. So you're like _that_ after all," the man said, sneering.

"Like what?"

"You know, like _that_," said another of the man's friends.

"If you're going to imply it, the least you could do is be clear about it, dumbass," Sanji said.

Zoro cleared his throat, pressing his thumb against Wadou's tsuba until the blade slid just slightly free. The metal glinted against the pink lights shining down from above, and the assembly of men instantly went on guard, pulling their own swords out.

Zoro hadn't meant to start a fight, of course, but that didn't stop he and Sanji from finishing it. Soon the bar erupted into a completely different kind of chaos as swords clashed, and by the time it was all over, there was a heap of unconscious bodies where the group of men once stood. Many of the tables and chairs had been broken in the commotion, and the bar was almost completely emptied of its previous occupants.

Next to Zoro, Sanji patted his shirt back into place. He'd been unusually cruel with the men, even more than Zoro had. It would almost be amusing if Zoro didn't know that he'd only been that way because he felt insulted, and maybe just a little bit self-conscious. He knew it wasn't because Sanji was jealous, knew that Sanji didn't think much of him beyond being someone to work off steam with. Sanji had no real attachment to him, aside from being nakama, and that thought only hurt a little. A sharp, miniscule stab, somewhere about the region of his chest.

He slid Wadou back into its sheath and dusted his hands off, glancing around the room. The rest of the crew had disappeared after the fight, and he found himself eager to get back to the ship as well, away from the awkward silence of the empty bar.

"You know, you shouldn't put up with those kinds of assholes," Sanji said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Why's that?"

Sanji quirked his mouth to the side, teeth digging into his bottom lip. "They're not worth your time."

Zoro chuckled. "I guess not."

"They're _not_," Sanji insisted, stepping forward into Zoro's space. He seemed hesitant, but placed a hand on Zoro's forearm anyway.

"Are you jealous?" Zoro asked, unable to stop himself.

Sanji said nothing. His mouth had dropped open just a little, as if shocked that Zoro had the tenacity to ask that.

"Just a joke," said Zoro, reaching out to ruffle Sanji's hair patronizingly. But Sanji intercepted his hand, quick and easy. He used it to pull Zoro forward until their lips connected.

Zoro's hand dropped to grip Sanji's waist. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he would go with it for the time being. After all, it wasn't like being the focus of Sanji's attention was a bad thing, even if it was only for a short time.

Though the kisses started off rough, they slowly gentled, and soon, it was almost as if Sanji wasn't even doing this in the hopes that it would lead toward something sexual. When Zoro pulled away, it was with a great deal of reluctance.

"I'm not jealous," Sanji said after a moment. "But if you don't go off looking for someone else, I won't either."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. It was the strangest declaration of exclusivity that he had ever heard, and yet it also made him more pleased than any other. "Alright. I won't."

Sanji smiled, and it was bashful and a little strained, but he leaned in to give Zoro one more kiss all the same.


End file.
